Understanding Our Behaviour: The Six Human Needs

Certainty: The Need for Comfort and Reliable Wi-Fi

Everyone wants to feel safe and in control. Certainty is that feeling of knowing what to expect. It’s like having your favourite mug ready in the morning or trusting your Wi-Fi won’t drop during a video call. It’s the comfort of routine and predictability.

Example:

You feel relaxed knowing your paycheck arrives every Friday. But when your boss starts a meeting with “So… things are changing,” suddenly your calm disappears, and you’re gripping your chair.

Think about it:

Where do you find your comfort? Is it in daily routines, familiar people, or maybe that emergency pint of ice cream hidden in the freezer?

Uncertainty: The Need for Variety and Surprise

There’s this funny twist in us. We get restless if everything stays the same for too long. Oddly enough, we also crave unpredictability. Too much certainty can feel boring. Variety brings excitement, new experiences, and sometimes questionable decisions. It shakes off the dust a little. It reminds us we’re alive and still capable of being surprised.

Example:

Trying salsa dancing for the first time, cutting your own bangs, or ordering a dish you can’t pronounce at a restaurant. Some moments are magical, while others are memorable for all the wrong reasons.

Reflect:

How do you add novelty to your life? Through hobbies, spontaneous trips, or even small changes like taking a different route to work?

Significance: The Need to Feel Important

Maybe the simplest way to say it is this: most of us just want to feel seen. Not applauded, not placed on a pedestal—just acknowledged in that quiet, human way that says you matter. I think that’s why we lean toward people who notice the small things about us. They remember what we said last week and treat our presence like it isn’t accidental. It’s less about ego and more about that deep, steady sense of being valued.

Example:

Getting a compliment on your work or being thanked for a favour can make your day. It’s the invisible gold star that says, “You’re seen and appreciated.”

Consider:

What makes you feel significant? Is it achievements, relationships, or moments of kindness?

Connection and Love: The Need to Feel Close to Others

Even the introverts need connection. It’s the coffee chats, shared jokes, long talks, and those “just checking on you” texts that make life feel fuller. Connection isn’t always about grand gestures; sometimes it’s as simple as someone remembering how you take your tea.

Example:

Catching up with a close friend, hugging a family member, or even bonding over a shared hobby fills this need.

Ask yourself:

Who are the people that feel like “home” to you? How do you sprinkle connection into your everyday life—whether it’s a quick message, a shared laugh, or simply showing up?

Growth: The Need to Improve and Learn

Growth is wanting to stretch, learn, and become a little more you. It’s why we try new skills, read books, or attempt that workout we instantly regret but secretly feel proud of.

Example:

Taking a course, reading a book, or practicing a hobby regularly helps satisfy this need.

Think about:

How are you growing today? What new challenges or knowledge excite you?

Contribution: The Need to Give Beyond Yourself

Feeling useful and giving back to others brings a deep sense of fulfilment. Contribution means making a difference, no matter how small.

Example:

Volunteering, helping a colleague, or simply sharing your time with someone in need.

Reflect:

How do you contribute to your community or the people around you? What impact do you want to leave?

Why Understanding These Needs Matters

Recognising these six human needs helps explain why we sometimes make choices that don’t seem logical, like eating ice cream at midnight. It’s not just about the ice cream; it’s about meeting one or more of these needs, whether it’s comfort, variety, or connection.

When you understand what drives your behaviour, you can make more conscious decisions. You can find healthier ways to meet your needs and create a life that feels balanced and fulfilling.

Want to find out which of these needs matter most to you? Take this short TEST and see your results.

Embracing Your Journey of Self-Discovery

As we navigate through life, understanding our needs can be a powerful tool for personal growth. Each of us has a unique journey, filled with ups and downs. Embracing this journey means recognising our needs and how they shape our experiences.

The Role of Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is essential in this process. Taking time to think about our actions and feelings can lead to profound insights. Ask yourself questions like: What do I truly want? How do my needs influence my choices? This practice can illuminate paths to emotional healing and personal empowerment.

Building Healthy Relationships

Understanding our needs also enhances our relationships. When we recognise what we seek—be it connection, significance, or love—we can communicate better with those around us. This clarity fosters deeper connections and nurtures healthier interactions.

Seeking Support and Guidance

Sometimes, the journey can feel overwhelming. Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can provide the encouragement we need. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. We all need a guiding hand at times, and reaching out can lead to transformative experiences.

Celebrating Your Progress

As you explore your needs and work towards personal growth, celebrate your progress. Each small step counts. Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how minor they may seem. This practice not only boosts your confidence but also reinforces your commitment to your journey.

Conclusion: Your Path to Inner Peace

Understanding and addressing your human needs is a vital step towards achieving lasting personal growth and inner peace. By recognising what drives you, you can create a fulfilling life that resonates with your true self. Embrace this journey with an open heart, and remember, you are not alone. Together, we can navigate the complexities of our emotions and emerge stronger, wiser, and more connected.