How Childhood Beliefs Form and Why They Still Affect You Today

Ewa Brenska
Jan 25
3 min read

False beliefs quietly shape many parts of our lives. They influence how we see ourselves, the choices we make, and the way we interact with others. These beliefs often start early, rooted in childhood experiences, and grow stronger over time. Understanding where false beliefs come from and how they affect us is the first step toward changing them.

Eye-level view of a single child sitting alone on a park bench, looking thoughtful — A child reflecting quietly on a park bench

What Are False Beliefs and How Do They Form?

False beliefs are ideas we hold about ourselves or the world that are not true or are distorted. These beliefs often develop during childhood when our minds are very open and impressionable. Children absorb information from their surroundings, but they don’t always have the tools to question or understand it fully.

For example, a child who is often told they are “not good enough” may start to believe this is true, even if it isn’t. These beliefs can be about abilities, worth, safety, or how others see us. Once formed, they become mental shortcuts that shape our thoughts and actions.

How Childhood Shapes False Beliefs

Early experiences: Repeated messages from parents, teachers, or caregivers can create lasting beliefs.
Misinterpretations: Children may misunderstand events or intentions, leading to wrong conclusions.
Emotional impact: Strong emotions like fear or shame make certain beliefs stick more firmly.

The Role of Family, Peers, and Society

Our environment plays a huge role in shaping false beliefs. Family is often the first source of these ideas. Parents and siblings influence how we view ourselves and the world. If a family environment is critical or neglectful, it can lead to negative beliefs.

Peers also affect our beliefs, especially during school years. Acceptance or rejection by friends can reinforce ideas about our social value. Society adds another layer through cultural norms, media, and social expectations. These influences can create pressure to fit in or behave in certain ways, sometimes leading to false beliefs about what is “normal” or “acceptable.”

How False Beliefs Affect Self-Confidence and Life Choices

False beliefs can quietly shape our lives in painful ways. They whisper that we’re not capable, not worthy, not enough, and over time, we start to believe them. When your mind tells you these stories, your confidence naturally shrinks. You hesitate. You hold back. You stop yourself from trying new things, speaking your truth, or going after the goals that once felt exciting.

These beliefs don’t just affect how you feel; they influence the choices you make every day. If you believe you’re “bad with money,” you might avoid learning about finances or miss chances to improve your situation. If you believe you’re “not smart enough,” you might stay in jobs beneath your potential. If you believe you’re “hard to love,” you might settle for relationships that don’t honor you.

False beliefs don’t just limit your confidence; they limit your entire life. The moment you start questioning them, everything begins to change.

Signs False Beliefs Are Holding You Back

Avoiding challenges or new experiences
Feeling unworthy of success or happiness
Constant self-criticism or doubt
Difficulty trusting others or forming close relationships

A Client’s Journey: Overcoming a False Belief

When Maya came to me, she carried a painful belief: “I’m not attractive enough.”

She didn’t know where it came from; she just felt it in her bones. But as we explored her past, small memories surfaced:

A classmate teasing her about her nose
A parent joking about her weight
A friend comparing her to someone “prettier”
A lack of compliments, even when she tried her best

None of these moments were huge on their own, but together they created a lens through which she saw herself. Every mirror became a test. Every photo felt like proof. Every compliment felt like a lie.

This belief didn’t just affect how she looked at herself it shaped her life. She avoided dating. She hid in photos. She stayed quiet in groups. She chose jobs where she wouldn’t be “seen.” Her entire world became smaller because of one belief that was never true.